How to Talk to Your Daughter About Sex

When should you start to talk to your daughter about sex? Before puberty, when she gets her period, or do you wait until she is 16? Needless to say, everyone will have an opinion on this! Today we’re simply going to share with you a range of different thoughts and ideas, giving you the power to make your own decision on when to talk to your daughter about sex.

Is 5 Too Young to Talk to Your Daughter About Sex? 

I came across an article on The Washington Post’s website asking that very question. I was surprised at the answer – around two to six years of age! Being horrified yet wanting to know why they said this, I read on. It talked about how at this age daughters build trust in their mothers and that you need to give them the right answers. They then commented that this age is not the time to talk about how sex works but educate our daughters on the correct anatomy names and simple explanations of how the parts work.

Then as your daughter gets older, explain in more depth how parts of her body work and the menstruation products she may choose to use. Referring to your first period or first crush can help you develop a rapport with her.

When she hits puberty and becomes a teenager, talk about how the media can alter their perception of what sexuality really is. Chat about how not everyone is sexually active, that all intercourse must be mutual and teach her to be responsible for her own actions.

Now is also the time to get specific about how sex works, the feelings and emotions which go with it, peer pressure, masturbation and STDs. Discuss the use of contraception and how she can get pregnant, even if she only has sex once. Sadly, it’s also necessary to talk about rape and should it happen to her, the importance of not showering or changing her clothes until she is seen by a health team.

But How Do I Talk to Her About Sex? 

I could just see you yelling that at me! Well, here’s how: calmly and stick to the facts. It’s okay to ask for help from a health professional or counsellor and sometimes this can make it easier. Be willing to talk about the mechanics of how sex works, why a couple has sex and even set out your expectations for her. It’s okay to tell her that you expect her not to have sex before she reaches a certain age. In fact, some girls prefer that as then they have a reason to avoid the pressure around having sex. It’s important to show her you are not ashamed of your body and neither should she. Growing up and having changes in her body is normal.

Most importantly, be willing to answer any of her questions. Be approachable, non-judgemental and ready to listen no matter what.

Have you had or are you planning the sex talk with your daughter yet? Let us know in the comments below at what age you started talking to her about sex!